Searching for a Sister

Dear Readers,

I've been on a search for a few years now.  I'm searching for a "sister".  Now, I have biological sisters and sisters-in-law (sister-in-laws?, whatever) and that's the problem.  I know how great having a sister can be.  The problem is I haven't had the honor or privilege of living by a sister for years.

When I did live by my sister(s), I loved it!  I always had someone to call........and then visit, in person, the same day, or even within minutes if need be.  I am so jealous of those who live by sisters.  A sister is someone you can call when you're sick and they'll take care of your kids AND you.  I have never called someone from church and asked them if I could lay on their couch while they made me lunch and then proceeded to lay there for hours :)

Sisters provide rides, friendship, tell you when you're wearing something dumb, your haircut is lopsided, and you've said something uncalled for.  You don't have to clean up your house for sisters either.  When you have a "disaster zone" they see the true disaster and then help you clean it up, because they know where stuff goes in your house and what has to be a certain way to keep you sane.  Nowadays, I have to clean for 20 minutes when I tell someone that I have a "disaster" because I'm afraid of being gossip fodder because you never know what other people think a "disaster" should look like.  Some people's "disaster" are other people's "uninhabitable" and other people's "not even messy at all") Maybe this is why I move a lot.........just kidding.  (Someone can validate me in the comments section, shameless plug today, sorry, this is sensitive stuff!)

Are you catching on yet?  I could list millions of examples.  Sisters love your guts out, but they'd do anything for you even when it's inconvenient to them and their family, because they love you unconditionally and don't judge.

Having been away from my biological/ married into sisters for a few years and knowing that it'll be this way for a few more years has made me more determined than ever to find a "sister" who lives local to me that will love me and befriend me the way a real sister might.  I've been looking and I haven't succeeded.  Maybe it's me.  You have to be that kind of "sister" to find one in return.  This year's Visiting Teaching theme is working on being a better Visiting Teacher.  If you didn't know that, it's kind of loose and unofficial, but each month the message has been revolving around that idea (Here they are all in one place.).

This month's was entitled "Demonstrating Our Discipleship Through Love and Service".  It gave some pointers on things to do.  It worded it not as things to do to be a better visiting teacher, but that as we did these things our service would "close resemble the ministry of our Savior."  Win-win.  As we serve others, we better ourselves.  "Love them without judging them, establish sincere friendships with them and visit them in their homes and elsewhere, reach out to those in need of comfort".....great stuff here, all that makes me think of my sisters.  I also love how it mentions women of the New Testament as examples.  "Paul wrote of a woman named Phebe, who was “a servant of the church” (Romans 16:1). He asked the people to “assist her in whatsoever business she hath need of you: for she hath been a succourer of many” (Romans 16:2). " (from Visiting Teaching Message, July 2012)  Aww, this has been going on forever.  Something about this just makes me feel really good to know.  It motivates me.  I want to lift others up and help them, because I like being a sister.

Seriously, EVERYONE says "Call me for anything."  Who really does?  There's a certain level that we feel we need to achieve on our own (at least for me).  I have a convoluted ranking system.  A cold doesn't count as "sick" so therefore I wouldn't call for help, however if I was in the hospital I might consider it.  I might drag my kids on errands much to the displeasure of all because that would sound "needy".  Yeah, convoluted is right.  It has to be an "emergency" or at least half of one to ask for help.  I know I'm not the only person with a problem because no one has called me on the edge of their sanity because they can't take their kids one more minute.  No one has called me asking me for food, money, or "doctoring" over a cold either.  Somehow we're programmed to have walls and if we could just take them down, imagine, sisters for all!

How funny is that?  I go to church every single Sunday and call every woman over the age of 18 "Sister".  Yet, I don't have a "sister" relationship with anyone?  Hmmm, an interesting perspective that makes me want to examine my actions.  I would love to have someone locally who I can go shoe shopping with (and buy matching shoes).  I would love to not have to worry about or second guess if it's really ok if she's watching my kids, or she's just doing it because she "owes" me, and is rolling her eyes secretly.

Oh, everyone lives states away (and no I don't live where the states are puny).  Those of you who are thinking, "I'll be your sister.  I wish you lived close to me."  You know what I have to say....  Go do thou likewise to someone who lives near you, who needs a sister, because I guarantee you there are plenty who are searching.



Anonymous said…
The clean before anyone comes- I know just what you mean. One time when we were moving I spent a long time cleaning before people from the ward were supposed to come help me because I didn't want people to think I was a messy person. I think SO many of us are worried about how messy our houses are when people come- every single time someone is coming over I make a mad dash to try to straighten up. I really like your suggestion of finding those who also need sisters who live close by, thanks for sharing!
and I wish that we lived closer...

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