God's Love

Dear Friend S,

How are you?  How has your day been?  This is what I felt like most of the day.....yeah I broke that a couple of weeks ago......grr.
Yeah, it's been a rough day.  No, make that a ROUGH day, or a ROUGH, ROUGH day.

Yes, I did the stuff with Husband and he's even in the middle of preparing a surprise for me right now.  I can hear him banging around in the kitchen.  Husband wasn't home all day though.  That left plenty of other time to have a trying day.

Daughter is not getting better.  I almost wonder if she is getting worse.  It is so hard to tell and I hate being the responsible person that has to call all of the shots on her behalf.  This is the stressful part of being a parent.

Anyways, before I get too wordy about me, I have been thinking about you.  I remember once a LONG time ago you said that you had done some really bad stuff in your life.  It seems as if sometimes it still bothers you and that you don't allow yourself to feel of God's love for you.

God's love.  That has been all I have been thinking about today, every minute since I woke up and exhaustedly stumbled through this day.  I know God loves me know.  It is SO much.  Husband attended the Leadership Broadcast on Saturday and in it, it was said that priesthood blessings were underutilized in the home.  Once a year was deemed not frequent enough.  On Sunday I asked Husband for a blessing.

One of the lines in it was "the times you have ....(made a certain choice)..... though not ideal or acceptable........[you can] allow the atonement of Jesus Christ to swallow up your guilt and press forward in your life drawing nearer to Christ."

Ack.  Heavenly Father said something that I did was not acceptable.  That screams DISAPPOINTMENT.  And I could feel it.  BUT what was so amazing to me was that at the same time I felt how much God loved me.  I KNOW that He has every confidence in me to make right choices.  I am ashamed  that I was a part of this situation and I know that Heavenly Father definitely does not approve, but I felt so much hope, knowing that He loves me and supports me.  He wants me to succeed.  There are NO grudges.  No hard feelings that He's going to allow to get in the way.  God loves me.  I totally know what the phrase feels like: "love the sinner, but hate the sin."

I know that if God loves me like this then He most certainly loves you the same way despite all of the "really bad stuff" that you have done.

I know God loves me.  Today when I thought I could not survive one more minute of a whiny sick child.  He relieved me of my burdens, allowing her to fall asleep.  I cried with relief recognizing His hand in my life only allowing me to face what I could handle.

God is real.  He is my Heavenly Father.  He loves me as a Father with a pure and perfect love.  I love that I am His daughter.  Today has been a long and trying day.

Luckily, it has been a day full of God's love.



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