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The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, nor is Lindsay their official spokesperson.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Looking Outward

Dear Friend D,

I love all of the pictures that you have been sending.  I totally just realized that you are about to be a mom of 4!!!  When did that happen?  It doesn't seem that long ago that we were sitting together at football games.  Have you really been married that long to have a second baby?

I have been wanting to write for a few months in response to the things that you have said about weight and accepting yourself.  I thought it was really great and obviously inspired several people besides myself.

If you don't mind, I have something that I would like to share to add to that.

So, in the past two weeks I realized something.  I must say, no laughing, we all learn things in our own time, because I am sure that it totally seems obvious to everyone else.  With it being January and all, I have been thinking about resolutions and especially about these things that I want to do.

Over the past few years (kinda since our separation) I have been on a long, downward, negative spiral.  This has literally brought me down as I have become worried about what everyone else thinks about me instead of being my bright, happy, and confident self (like when you first me).

This brings me to Exhibit A.  This is a picture that illustrates how I commonly stand.  I am looking down at my midsection to see if it is sticking out, because I hate looking pregnant when I am not pregnant, and I especially hate looking pregnant if I can't have kids.  This illustrates how turned into myself I was.

So seriously just this month, I realized that if I started looking out at others rather than down at myself (because who really cares if I don't have a six-pack, and I know that I am not even fat)...if I look out at others then it pulls in my stomach and I don't even have that problem.  Talk about a blessing in disguise ;)

Isn't that so obvious?  If I stick out my stomach to check if it is there, then of course it's going to be sticking out.  If I let it be, then it'll be fine, and I won't even notice either way because I will be focused on others and not myself.

Exhibit B  There are my little toesies with no tummy in the way.  While you can't see it, my eyes are looking out forward rather than down.

These pictures are horrible, but I was too embarrassed to ask for Husband's help, so hopefully they make enough sense.  Like I said, no laughing, this was an important thing for me to learn.  One looking down, and one looking out.

I hope to look outside of myself much better now that I have realized this.  It makes me think of the scripture "when ye are in the service of your fellow being, ye are only in the service of your God".

Well, D.  You are the best.  I hope everything works out well with the physics and whatever.  I hope everything goes well with your new little one coming, and I hope to see you again someday to see your smile, hear your voice, and see the light of Christ of in your eyes.  W W W White.   W W W Wow.

Best Wishes,

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Welcome 2011

Dear Sister,

So you know that I have too many little projects started that I need to finish.  (It would help if I didn't start anything else :)  I have meaning to tell you this stuff for a few weeks, but have been busy.  Now January is almost over, so my "resolution" thoughts I must hurry to share (and mail my January VT cards, etc).

I told B. over the break that I was not looking forward to 2011.  This is in part because I knew what medications lay ahead and where I had been in 2010.  I told her that 2010 was the year of control.  And it was. It was awesome!!!  I learned so much and felt so put together.  This is saying something when you look back over the last few years.  I have come from mess to success!  (I totally just came up with that, do you think someone else already has?  probably, but still know if it exists elsewhere that I just made that up.)

I know Chinese New Year is coming up soon and you know how they name the years or whatever?  Well, I have named my past five years.

2006 - Year of Stress (as in debilitating stress which was the beginning of the great downfall)
2007 - Year of Darkness and Despair (don't even want to elaborate)
2008 - Year of Pregnancy (read: sick, sick, and body discomfort....makes me sick to remember)
2009 - Year of Baby (actually a pretty good year, the start of the upward zoom with key events in April and November)
2010 - Year of Self (self-love, self-control, self-respect, ran a marathon, communed with the Spirit, gained unbelievable insight, and grew a hundred bazillion times, I feel as if I have walked with God)

I have decided that instead of waiting until the end of 2011 to see what this year should be called, I am going to name it NOW.

2011 - Year of Reaching Out

In thinking about what to do about my blog and how it's purpose/ mission statement might need restructuring, I have been remembering a talk by President Monson.  He wasn't the prophet at the time.  I remember hearing it then and having it resonate within me.  I am assuming that you do as well.

He says:

I have carefully chosen four action-packed objectives for your guidance and eternal joy. They are:
  1. 1. Gaze upward,

  2. 2. Look inward,

  3. 3. Reach outward, and

  4. 4. Press forward. 
This past year I have really succeeded ("mess to success", eh?  still smiling over that) in gazing upward to my Heavenly Father and looking inward with much introspection.  I am excited to reach outward and press forward this year.  This talk was awesome.  I hope you have time go back and re-read it.  It is called "Your Celestial Journey".  He also says at the end that if we follow these four things that "great shall be your reward and eternal shall be your glory."  Awesome!!!


Monday, January 24, 2011

Short and Sweet

Dear Readers,

I thank you for the comments, and the many emails that came my way.  I have carefully considered each point and have decided that I will not be deleting this blog.  Somehow it will continue, I just don't know how yet.  I am still thinking about some specifics.

Posts will be kept to shorter, more manageable lengths.  I have realized, that I simply cannot share all of the things that I would like, and that's okay.  It will just take an adjustment in my thinking, as I also make some other adjustments as well.

I was surprised by some things that were said to me, because I felt that some readers did not understand the purpose of this blog.  I will repeat my original stated purpose which is to share my beliefs with those I don't know.  I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  These letters proclaim my belief in a Heavenly Father who loves and knows me and in His Son, Jesus Christ, my Savior who atoned for me.  This knowledge brings me peace and joy in my life.

Thank you again for those who responded to my call.  Those who wish to stay as blog-stalkers, know that you are always welcome.  I think of you as I write, because you are my intended audience.  I invite you if you have any questions to email me or chat directly with a representative of the Mormon Church.

Your Friend,

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Don't Hate

Dear Readers,

I must ask for your understanding.  Tomorrow I will be fasting from the computer.
"To fast is to go without food and drink voluntarily for a certain period of time. Fasting combined with sincere prayer can strengthen us spiritually, bring us closer to God, and help us prepare ourselves and others to receive His blessings." please click here for reference and more information
Since I must eat while taking this medication, I have decided that I will fast from the computer, because it is something that I can give up voluntarily that I sometimes need/ want (like food).

Instead of making an explanatory post to you tomorrow about my decision, I will be reading the scriptures and praying.

A few months ago someone asked me to fast for them and I found this article by Shayne M. Bowen (who my husband personally knows and respects), that really gave me a lot of insight.

I know that the Lord can and will bless my family with the things that we desire, but only after we do everything that we can.  Fasting tomorrow is one thing that we have decided that we need to do to show our Heavenly Father that we are willing to make sacrifices in order to receive his blessings.  We are also asking others to fast and pray for us to combine our faith together, because I KNOW that God performs miracles and it is NOT a matter of "if", but "when".

I am sorry.  I have been thinking about this blog a lot this past week.  I am sorry to put you off one day, but I appreciate the prayers that I know that we have received from some of you readers.


Friday, January 14, 2011

Roll Call

Dear Readers,

Happy New Year!!!  I sincerely hope that you have not already given up on your resolutions.  If you have, might I suggest that you re-evaluate and then make more realistic new ones :)

Where have I been?  Living my awesome life.  I hope you are not offended that I have not included you.  You see, a few weeks ago, I came across something yucky on the internet.  As a result, I have reduced my screen time to almost zero until now.  I avoided everything, even good sites (like my own blog!).

With this time away, I have realized a couple of things.  Life is better with less screen time and also that I didn't really miss you too much.  Sorry, but it's true.  I have always been open about my feelings about blogs (and how I wouldn't have one if I didn't feel like Heavenly Father wanted me to write about his Plan).

I have been trying to decide if I should make my last post and retire this blog or if I should continue.  In the beginning, I felt inspired by my Heavenly Father with every single sentence that I wrote.  Now, not so much.  If He does not need my efforts, then I definitely have many things that I could do with the time that it takes to write a college thesis on each of these topics (takes a little time, peeps).

Hence, I am asking for a roll call.  I have helped you, now please help me.  Please leave a comment (I allow anonymous comments for goodness sakes!!!!!!!) that lets me know what you think.  This is not intended to be a schmaltz-fest.  No comments that say "I would die without reading your blog".  I would also accept emails at lettersfromlindsay at gmail dot come, but then that would reveal to me who you are (and it seems that most of my readers are just as private as I am).

I promise I will come up with my decision soon on what I am going to do with this blog; if it is done, or if I just need to tweak it or something.  I'll even put a an end date on this.  January 23rd, I'll let you know of my decision.  All suggestions, insights  are welcome.

This is my internal debate.  Should I continue to review conference talks?  Should I only review conference talks?  Who is reading in Los Angeles (or fill in the blank another city)?  I don't have any family or friends in Los Angeles (or fill in the blank another city).  Would I be letting them down if I quit?  Am I too personal?  Am I too impersonal?  Are my posts too long?  Should I only post once a week, once a month?  How do I think/write faster, so that posting on this blog doesn't take so much time?  I loved my minimal screen time/ no blogs time.  Do people really read this?  Do they click on the links?  The links provide all of the good stuff like more information about the Mormon Church, articles in their entirety, videos of uplifting material, etc.

That's it.  I have had a good 3 weeks, many great spiritual insights, experiences, etc.

(If I keep the blog, I promise to fix the just takes time, but I will.)

Write back soon,