Marriage for Eternity

Dear Friend E,

The past few weeks/ months I have been thinking about my role as a wife and mother.  I have even shared some of these thoughts with others as part of my testimony. Today I read a report that marriage levels are declining in the United States again.  I know that you are preparing to become a wife and mother and so I have been thinking about you.

I know these comments are unsolicited and I apologize for that.  I just know how important marriage is as an institution.  God created it that way.  Though the common consensus is that it doesn't make sense, is outdated, oppressive to women, puts you at a financial disadvantage, etc, I am so glad that you are getting married.

I think of the children's rhyme, "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage."  It is exactly right.  We focus on our love and our marriage and then on having children and their needs.  From our family's experience we always run smoother if we put the marriage before our children.

I always hear women who says things like they only live for their children or something along those lines.  I always worry about them.  Know that you are important in your own right and that you should have your own hobbies and interests and identity that doesn't include your children (or spouse).

First and foremost, I worry about me.  I have to make sure that I maintain a close relationship with my Heavenly Father so that I have the ability to help other people.  They always say that you don't want to drown the rescuer, referring to someone who has dove into water to save a drowning victim.  The rescuer has to know how to swim and be a strong swimmer in order to provide the needed aid.  That's how I feel about me.  I have to worry about myself first before I can help others, including my family.  Next, I am a spouse.  I love Husband so much.  We are sealed to each other for eternity.  It is true that Daughter is sealed to us, but someday she will be sealed to her spouse, etc.  Lastly, I am a mother.  I love being a mother,  I just keep it in its place.  (Please don't misunderstand, I am a great mom and spend tons of time with Daughter.  We sing, read, etc.  I am not talking about shipping your child off to daycare or something when I say that motherhood is my 3rd priority.)  It is true that it is a 24/7 job, and that once a mother, always a mother, etc.  Also realize that once an Eagle Scout, always an Eagle Scout, get my picture?  I look forward to raising Daughter for many more years, but I also look forward to when she is gone and it will be the most awesome, best, (etc, etc) retirement ever.  I seriously cannot wait, because Husband and I will be living it up!!!!

That's how I see it.

Rather than burden give you more advice, I'll wait for you to approach me :).  I will tell you any day, any time how much marriage rocks.



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