Don't Say That

Dear Friend R,

Oh, do I have some things to say to you.  I haven't found the most tactful way to say them yet, which is why I haven't said them to your face, and I probably won't send you this letter.

Why do you say what you say?

Alright, let's get right to the point.

I know that you are angry.  I know that you are upset that things aren't going how you want them too.  I am guessing that you feel alone and like nobody understands.  Guess what, things aren't going how anyone wants them too, so really you are like everyone else.  Also, there is the atonement.  Christ always knows what you feel like, but more on that later.

I also know what you are saying to other people.  Why do you insist on tearing them down?  I have a guess.  It is because you suffer from low self-esteem.  You think you have to say put-downs to others in order to put yourself up.  I wish you understood your place in God's plan and how precious you are as a child of God.  If you understood that then you wouldn't have to artificially inflate yourself through the deflating of others.  That took me many years to learn, that everyone can be inflated at once.  Everyone is equally important to Heavenly Father all of the time.  When I was going through some of the same things that you are going through, I too felt so low that I was tempted to say things to others to tear them down.  I was so desperate to receive that brief "high" that I continued to make disparaging remarks to others even though I knew it was wrong.

Now that I have learned this about myself I sometimes catch myself doing it.  It is the days that I feel down about myself that I am the most critical of others, my spouse, my life, my house, etc.

Please change.  You are on a very destructive path.  While you may damage other people, you will do the most damage to yourself, and that is saying something, because it is such a sad sin to make people believe that they are less than they are.

Turn to Jesus Christ.  He can take this burden and make it light, if you want Him too.  The choice is yours.  He won't make it for you.  The atonement has an expansive reach that will cover this and anything else that is currently bothering you (i.e. the things that are making you to have a low self-esteem).

Sorry to have such a biting tone, but there have been many times that I have been the only person to stand up for you in a conversation.  Everyone else is starting to give up on you, that you will ever change.  Your fan base is diminishing and unless you make some changes, there won't be anyone left.  I, however, refuse to give up on you, because I know your potential.  I have seen it.  I refuse to overlook the good things that you are doing now even though they are being overshadowed by the amount of bad choices that you are making.  I understand why your detractors feel the way that they do, but I think they are wrong to focus only on the negative you.

Prove them wrong.  Temper your tongue, and try to lift up others rather than tear them down.



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