Wife and Mother
Dear Friend P,
After all 6 emails that I sent to you yesterday, I did forget something. I wanted to tell this.
Recently I also discovered the unique difference between being a wife and a mother. They are two very different things that many people happen to be both at the same time. When we say that phrase "wife and mother" we always say wife first. I never hear anyone say "mother and wife" (though it might make sense to say it that way for alphabetical reasons). Being a wife is significantly more important than being a mother, and a strong predictor for what type of mother a person will be depends on what type of wife they are.
I remember hearing many moms say how much they worry about their children. I have decided that if they spent that time working on their marriage than they wouldn't need to worry about their children at all. Happy well-adjusted children come from homes that have happy healthy marriages in them. So many moms define themselves by their children, taking the whole parenting responsibility on themselves even when a father is present and willing to help.
Marriage comes first, then mothering. I am glad that I know this. It also brings peace to me as I parent my child. Over the past 2 years I have many times wondered if I was being a "good" mom, but I feel like now I know how I can measure my success; by my relationship with Husband!!! (so everyone wins!)
P.S. This is the type of parent that I want to be (link here to video).