This blog is not an official website of
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, nor is Lindsay their official spokesperson.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Wife and Mother


Dear Friend P,

After all 6 emails that I sent to you yesterday, I did forget something. I wanted to tell this.

Recently I also discovered the unique difference between being a wife and a mother. They are two very different things that many people happen to be both at the same time. When we say that phrase "wife and mother" we always say wife first. I never hear anyone say "mother and wife" (though it might make sense to say it that way for alphabetical reasons). Being a wife is significantly more important than being a mother, and a strong predictor for what type of mother a person will be depends on what type of wife they are.

I remember hearing many moms say how much they worry about their children.  I have decided that if they spent that time working on their marriage than they wouldn't need to worry about their children at all.  Happy well-adjusted children come from homes that have happy healthy marriages in them.  So many moms define themselves by their children, taking the whole parenting responsibility on themselves even when a father is present and willing to help.

Marriage comes first, then mothering.  I am glad that I know this.  It also brings peace to me as I parent my child.  Over the past 2 years I have many times wondered if I was being a "good" mom, but I feel like now I know how I can measure my success; by my relationship with Husband!!!  (so everyone wins!)

Thank you,
Lindsay

P.S.  This is the type of parent that I want to be (link here to video).

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Hairy Happenings


Dear Brother,

Oops!!!  I just realized when I was cutting Husband's hair on Saturday that we never wrote down the lengths of the attachments that we used when we were cutting your hair.  Did you shave it all off?  Did you grow it out?  What did Sister do?

I hope you figured something out, because a home haircut is a great skill of self-reliance.

I am really sorry that I forgot though.  You looked so good after your last haircut.  I have been trying to remember the attachments and if you call me we'll try to remember together.

Love,
Lindsay

Friday, August 27, 2010

Mommy's Helper


Dear Sister,

I take it back.  "Easy Street" has turned into Reality Street.  It doesn't mean that it's hard, but with Husband going back to school it has been a challenge.

So yesterday I started looking at bread machines.  Then I started looking at wheat grinders, because everyone was saying that you needed to grind your own (which is something I have wanted to do anyways).  I have wanted a grinder for awhile to also help us be prepared should we ever need it.

After looking at such yummy bread online all day I decided to make some whole wheat blueberry muffins to accompany our breakfast burritos that I planned on making for dinner.

Like everything in my life, Daughter was there right beside me to help, so I let her help.

The muffins (so tacky with burnt stuff on my pan I know)
The eggs (complete with garlic, onions, peppers, spinach, tomato, and sausage!!!)
Some of the help I received from Daughter...we were done with the muffins and moving on to the eggs, but she thought she'd throw a tomato in, since I had let her do the flour, sugar, and baking powder.  (Now she is calling it an "egg"...hmmm, maybe this explains why she put it in)
We'll adjust to the new schedule.  It is a lot of fun to spend time with someone who can walk and talk.  She is a pure delight even though she wants my attention a lot.

I can't seem to find the words that I wanted to share with you about motherhood.  I know I am grateful to be a mother.  It is a huge blessing to me.

I know your kids keep you on your toes, also.

Love,
Lindsay

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Adoption Comment


Dear Friend J,

I know we were just talking about this a little bit yesterday, but I forgot to tell you this.  It shouldn't be a big deal, but it just kind of nags at me.

A couple of a weeks ago I was at a swimming pool party.  I was in a circle of ladies who were discussing summer plans.  Someone said that they were going to visit someone ("Jane").  Another lady says. "Jane, do I know Jane?"  Well the first woman replies, "She had two daughters, they were twins, they were blond, and they adopted that little boy."

If I had been asked to describe "Jane", I would have described her as having three children.  Two girls who were twins, and a boy.  I never would have thought that being "adopted" was a defining characteristic.

I seem to be becoming an adoption advocate without meaning to.  So J, please visit this website and tell all of your friends about it so that we can educate more people about adoption and take away unnecessary stigmas.

I probably will end up adopting someday, especially after having the dreams that I did last week.  Every night I was always searching for someone.  Sometimes a girl would ask me where my boy was.  All very weird and for sure my family is not complete, but like I've told you before, I can't doing anything about it for 2 years until my situation changes.

You're the best,
Lindsay

Saturday, August 21, 2010

More Gratitude


Dear Sister,

Boy, I started this letter a few weeks ago and now that I came back to it, the pictures seem soooooooo dated.  I have decided to post them anyways, just because I am the boss of this blog.

So, you know that we don't really eat out that often.  Well, Husband and I went on a date to a national seafood chain restaurant.  I know we didn't grow up eating seafood, and Husband didn't either.  He developed a love for it on his mission to Barcelona, Spain for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  To be the kind and loving and supportive wife that I am, I occasionally try to stomach seafood.  I hope that one day I will love it too, and then it won't be an issue, not to mention the amazing health benefits.  We ordered an array of wide sampler platters so that I could try 5-6 different things, and miraculously I did like almost all of them.  Who knew?  I am almost looking forward to the next time that we can eat seafood together.  We had such amazing service that I even wrote an extra note on the receipt emphasizing our thanks, in addition to our generous tip.  We've had so many bad service experiences that I really am grateful for the good ones.

So I am definitely grateful for my husband who encourages me to try new things, and can make it be fun instead of a painful hold your nose experience, ha.  Of course I am grateful to Husband for a ton of other things as well, but no one would want to read the lengthy list.

Here is a picture of us earlier this summer.  See the love in our eyes?!?!?!  We are so happy and hopeful for the future.


He also surprised me with these for the big date!!!  I am grateful for them and that they didn't die for a bazillion weeks so that I could enjoy them forever (still am)!!!  There was also a handmade card, but now we're getting way too mushy...


I am also grateful for the rest of my family.  I know, there is only one other person, but I love Daughter so much.  She teaches me so much.  She has so much energy and joy.  Everyone loves her (hard not to love her cuteness) and she is so friendly to all.  I am grateful that Heavenly Father entrusted me to be her mother, because she truly is so special.

At the zoo, she was kissing an orangutan through the glass.  The picture only came kind of blurry, but so cute nonetheless.  Daughter is so loving!


As always I am grateful for my many blessings especially for my Savior, Jesus Christ.  Basically, I am grateful for everything in my testimony.

Well, sis, I love you.  Good luck making your final preparations for your new school year.  Call anytime.

Love,
Lindsay

Friday, August 20, 2010

Stuff-a-holic Update


Dear Friend T,

Today was a great day!!!  It is also a great day to update you on my stuff-a-holic syndrome.

Today (and over the past few months, consistency, consistency, consistency is key!), we have been teaching Daughter that everything must have a place.  If it has a place then it can be cleaned up.  When I used to live in my super cluttered house, it was mainly because I didn't know what to do with the clutter.  I have decided it's okay to keep some "treasures" (read: garbage) as long as it has a designated spot.

I also put several pictures into frames.  These were family photos and pictures of Daughter from last December.  Yes, that is right.  They were sitting in an envelope for eight months not being appreciated, and they are super cute of course.

I know it is a small step, but every step counts.  I will overcome being a stuff-a-holic.  It is just easier to mentally do that than to physically do that.

I constantly am thinking of this scripture.  It is my goal!!!

Hope you are having fun on your trip!

Boastfully (because I am proud of my small accomplishment),
Lindsay

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Don't Despair


Dear Friend G,

I just heard about your retirement.  Congratulations on 43 years!!!  That is remarkable.  I learned so much more from you than just about our field of study.  I truly learned so much about life.  This came through all of the classes that I was able to take from you and also our many visits in your office.  Thank you for your devotion to your students.  From your positive attitude I know that you taught to have hope throughout life, and to let laughter and family be priorities also.

"Hope is not knowledge,but rather the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promise to us. It is confidence that if we live according to God’s laws and the words of His prophets now, we will receive desired blessings in the future. It is believing and expecting that our prayers will be answered. It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance." link here to Pres. Uchtdorf's talk

I have been  thinking about hope recently and have read that the opposite of hope is despair.  I know we have talked about this before.  Maybe you don't remember, but I do.

"The adversary uses despair to bind hearts and minds in suffocating darkness. Despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the empty remnants of what life was meant to be. Despair kills ambition, advances sickness, pollutes the soul, and deadens the heart. Despair can seem like a staircase that leads only and forever downward." link here to Pres. Uchtdorf's talk

I used to feel that way.  The staircase going down forever.  I will always remember your kind words and empathy to me at that time.  Unfortunately, that was the last time that I got to speak to you in person.  Since that time, my husband and I both graduated and in time we have had a daughter and are doing quite well with our life and feeling much hope.  I have always wondered how many more years you would teach, and well now I know.


You have left quite a legacy and will be missed in the department.  I can only imagine how many other young students that you inspired, as you have me.

With Gratitude and Awe,
Lindsay

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

You Can't Be Serious?


Dear Sister,

Yesterday I went to an I-MAX theater.  Now these cost more than regular theaters.  They made announcements before the movie started specifically about not texting during the movie, because the light from the phone would be "blinding" in the dark theater.

Well, throughout the whole movie a teen sitting in front of me constantly texted.  Now, it didn't ruin my theater experience, because I was looking up at the screen, not down at her phone.  I am just amazed at her bad e-manners.  I am amazed at her blatant lack of respect (to hear the announcement and not care).  I am also amazed at not caring that her parent paid for a ticket to watch a really neat I-MAX film.

Hmm.

Disgustedly,
Lindsay

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Time to Speak Out


Dear Readers,

Tonight I was watching a presentation of a woman showing pictures from her recent trip to Egypt.  It was very interesting as she remembered many facts to tell us to go along with her pictures.  Some of the pictures were showing temples where every square inch was carved with hieroglyphics.  I mean, floor to ceiling, even underneath the doorway areas.

Some even looked like this.

We were marveling at how meticulous and precise each marking was and surmising that it must have taken a lot of time to make that many carvings.  Well at this point a woman yells out "They didn't have Facebook back then.  They didn't have anything else to do besides carve."

Isn't that just awful?  People spend so much time on Facebook that they don't have for anything else.  I do happen to know how much time this woman spends on that site along with her friends.

That is one reason why I never joined the site initially.  I saw how much time my siblings w-a-s-t-e-d on it, and I didn't want that to be me.  Then I saw all of the privacy issues that have been in the news over the past few months and knew that I wanted to stay in control of my online destiny.  People get fired over their accounts?!?!?!  (I know they can also get hired...)  Then I looked over my siblings shoulders and read what people write on the "wall" thing or whatever.  Absolute garbage and a waste of time to type and to read it, and it creates an online chaos to wade through to read all of the birthday, engagement, baby announcements, etc. that people seem to think they have to get their news from......(No offense to A.  I am not just talking about you, I promise, but I know you are my only faithful reader, so I guess it does seem kind of pointed at you....sorry!!!)

My challenge to anyone and everyone who will listen is to skip Facebook.  I am not on it and I think I am a happy, well-adjusted person with many friends.  If I want to talk to someone I either call them on the phone or send them an email, or (gasp!) a letter in the mail.  Seriously, you can live a happy productive life without having to worry about maintaining a superficial friendship with hundreds of people.

There I said it.  I spoke out against Facebook.  One thing that so many people swear they can't live without.

Respectfully,
Lindsay

Monday, August 16, 2010

Fo-cus


Dear Lindsay,

Come on, focus!!!

I know you've been tired and life just keeps coming at you, but come on.

Leaving the house and coming home to find you left the stove on?  Coming home the next day and then finding a pitcher filling in the sink, water spilling over the edges, because that was left on, too?  How embarrassing!

I am proud that you worked so hard to get a nap today.  That is the first step.  Sleep is so important.

Take care of yourself, because the school year is starting and you have got to be on top of your game.

Love,
Lindsay

Friday, August 13, 2010

Easy Street


Dear Daughter,

This will be short, because I am in a hurry, but I am hoping that if I start this, then in a few days I can finish elaborating on all of my thoughts.

In short my thought is this:

The past days I have been so proud of myself and proud of you.  I have been so proud of your accomplishments and your desire to achieve greatness.  Today you came up to Dad and I and said "Mess, mess".  We looked and there was a spill of water on the floor.  We gave you the rag to clean it up and then immediately you started to sing the "Clean Up" song.  You wiped up the whole mess perfectly which really is something at your age.

I just want to record that today and yesterday and the day before that I have felt like I was living on "Easy Street".  I love being your Mom.  I know that I am doing a good job.  I am actually giving myself credit for the things that I do for you.  No guilt.  No down-playing my goodness.  No trying to rip myself apart making my life harder for myself.

I have been so happy.  I love you so much.  I will write again soon.

Love,
Lindsay

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

More Praise for You


Dear Brother,

I know awhile ago I wrote to you about how you were a good example of being loving to others.  Well, I have some more praise for you.

A couple of weeks ago I was at the park with Daughter.  It was 98 degrees outside and very humid.  It was miserable.  We went because we really needed to get out of the house.  Now Daughter's most favorite thing in the world is to S-W-I-N-G.  I never can say that word anymore.  I always have to spell it out so that I don't disappoint her if we are not going to a P-A-R-K.

As I was pushing her on the swing for what seemed like a million minutes (or just twenty), I started to think about why I was pushing her.

I thought, "well I love her."  Then I started to think about selfishness.  I didn't want to push her due to my own selfishness.  I didn't want to be in the direct sunlight.  Then I thought of you.  I knew you would push her.  You were always so selfless.  You were always so mellow and easy going.  As I thought about how I wanted to parent my daughter, I realized that I wanted to be like you.

I know that I was pretty hard on you over the phone recently.  I just want you to be your absolute best self, especially since I look up to you (or down since you're younger!?!).

This is completely unrelated, but I have been meaning to ask you forever if you knew about this new website?  www.youth.lds.org  It's aimed at people your age and it always looks like there are really cool links and videos.

I am really proud of you.

Love,
Lindsay

Sunday, August 8, 2010

A Testimony


Dear Readers,

Today I thought I would type a few brief thoughts.  If I say they will be brief up front then I won't have to worry about leaving something out.  I have a testimony of many things.  What is a testimony?  Click here to find out!!!

I believe in Christ.  He is my Savior and my Redeemer.  He is my elder brother as we are all spirit children of our Heavenly Father.  Our Heavenly Father loves all of his children.  He loves me more than I know.  I know that He knows my name, because He knows me personally and is aware of my situations.

I can talk to my Father in Heaven through prayer.  He is not a mystery to me.  He is real.  I know that Joseph Smith prayed to know which church he should join and was told none of them.  Then The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was restored again to the Earth.

I am most happy when I follow the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  The closer that I become to God, the less important things seem to matter in life to me.  Basically faith and family sum it up.  Dance lessons, clubs, looking cute, etc. are not what matter in this life.

Boldly,
Lindsay

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Girl Power


Dear Mother,

It has been so nice to spend some time together.  Woman to woman interactions are very important to me.

Before I came out to visit you I had the opportunity to go to the temple with three friends.  It was very fun to all go together.  Two in the group are new to the temple and so I have the opportunity to help them.  I love the temple.  I feel such peace there.  I feel happy there.  My happiness is amplified when I am able to go with others.

We made quite a group.  There were two women in their 20's, one woman in her 40's, and one woman in her 70's.  It was fun to have such a good time that transcended between generations.  I am not related to any of these women, but it feels like we very well could be.

I look forward to more "girl power" moments with you.

Love,
Lindsay